The War of Art

Abundant Love Flows From Within

Abundant Love Flows From Within

The years 2012/2013 can be described as magnified milestones in my life that have allowed me to gain higher ground and higher consciousness. This is one chapter, of an even longer journey, that signifies my capability to be accountable. It is only I who can make the necessary changes in my life in order for my happiness, love, and compassion to flow freely, and abundantly!

My New Year’s Resolution for 2013 was to live and love more, and let go of fear. After some serious brainstorming and list creating, I reflected on all that I’ve accomplished this year. I left a serious relationship; I graduated after 5 ½ years of University, packed my dog and I then up and moved to Canada! I am learning major life lessons of unconditional love and compassion; I reserved a spot for this spiritual quest, regained independence and discipline towards my self-practices, and have committed to the consistency of a happy and healthy livelihood. I’ve seen my light and love make this world a better place, and I don’t want to live it any other way.

The War of Art represents my worst enemy, that whom is thyself. If I am to be accountable, then no longer will I stand in my own way. In the past year, I have lost 50 lbs by changing my eating habits, eating organic and homemade meals, and regular exercise. I know me. I know me around the holidays. I know that I cannot resist all the amazing sweets and overindulging. In fact, I’ve already fallen off track, and there’s nothing more disappointing when you disappoint yourself. I have committed to Michelle Greenman’s Loose Weight, Gain Health challenge, will blog each week with my new assignment, and push past my plateau this winter!

This week’s goal was to drink at least 10 glasses of water a day! I feel good becoming more focused, and taking control over the aspects of my life I want to improve. I am back and ready. I also recognize that the changes I want to make are life-long goals and not going to change over night! I am looking forward to honing this new chapter, and sharing it with all of you!

So in honor of the new changes, and letting go of the past and any fear I’ve been conditioned to… Here is the final song off my newest demo, Accelerated Healing!  Enjoy 🙂

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I AM Divine

Full Blue MoonTonight is the Full Blue Moon, and my mind has been all over the place. Distracted with questions I already know positive answers to, clouded by emotions from my haunting past, and jabs of insecurities that no longer serve me. Coming into 2013 has been the hardest transition of my life, I know I’m not alone, and the work has just begun.

This weeks goal: Stay focused and disciplined towards my self-care and self-love practices. 

Because I am a unique being of sorts, I have adjusted my spiritual practices to serve my multidisciplinary interests and needs. Therefore, ranging from daily to monthly, my spiritual practices include the following: prayer, singing, writing, cooking, gardening, quality time with my Bella, dancing, meditating, running, yoga, swimming, hiking, canoeing/kayaking, etc. When I feed my creative spirit intently with these activities, I am in my highest and happiest state of being.

It is in these moments of my life where I can naturally take a deep breathe in….arms to the sky…. exhale….ahhhhh pure gratitude. I have also taken it upon myself to look at my list of strengths and weaknesses daily.  Then, I pick one weakness to “practice”; such as, patience, trust, compassion, unconditional love, and listening.  We all know the saying, “practice makes perfect”. I think, if we  truly care about being our highest selves then it will take practice too! If you find this to be a constant, and self-structured guide- please by all means use this method for yourself!

This brings me to Oprah and Deepak’s 21-Day Meditation Challenge! I have been following, and I am so thankful to have a guide through these new transformations and in the re-creating of MY relationship with MYSELF and others. Since coming to Canada, I have been going through intense healing and in a short few months, I have come so far. Although the work is never really done, I am proud of the strength I’ve gained by leaving the comfort of my friends and family in the Midwest to explore my own interests, skills, and talents. Sometimes the hardest things are exactly what we need, when we need it most importantly.

Here are a few outlets I follow regularly that you may also find helpful:

Tom Lescher Astrology Forecasts/Pele Reports

Mystic Mamma

Brave Archer Films Documentary- 2012 Crossing Over: A New Beginning

With profound appreciation, joy, and gratitude for the people around me and experiences I’ve faced, I would like to now include an Honorable Mention. The people listed below are relationships I have developed over the years that have truly shaped who I am. I want to honor you for truly being inspirational, and showing me unconditional love that transcends time and place. Because of the Divinity within you, I AM Divine.  Thank you!!!!

Honorable Mentions (In no particular order):

Lavonna Davis

Selika Ducksworth-Lawton

Diane Roberts

Maegan Boss

Sassan Zaker

Emily Baugus

Reed Grimm

Alexia Larson

Shannon Pitzele

Jennelle Donnay

Jesse Dixon

Allie Farnhammer

Craig Rice

Adrian Larkin

Kristina Kelly

Sophie LeCorre

Beth Inman

Rachel Francois

Kaila Sanders

Emma Richerson

Helen Widdicombe

Pia Bayetti

Bri Smith

Britt Smith

Brittany Schoenick

Jeff Bailey

Michael Olson

Emily Peterson

Casie Lamorie

Tyler Baumgart

Brooke Colby

David Olson

Chad Walters

Susannah Tedesco

Sara Pisa

Mikayla Shroeder

Dirk Gibbs

Nick Schultz

Abby GiggleGypsy

Harry Philburt

Janani Logendran

Carly Clemurphy

Mark Levandoski

Mary Levandoski

Tania Halbersma

Zach Liebenstein

Blake Auler-Murphy

Melissa Hartung

Holly Stro

Heather Boritzke

The list could go on forever! Not trying to leave anyone out, but really just wanted to shine some light and love on you all! Happy Full Blue Moon Friends, may your transformations be challenging so we can grow into our highest selves together!

Live.Laugh.Love

❤ Namaste

Let Go of Fear. Live and Love More.

I AM relieved to have so much free time now that I’ve graduated! It’s an incredible feeling; knowing my great accomplishments, and how far I’ve come. I mean, I packed my dog and I in one suitcase, 4 bags, and a kennel. Somehow, I’ve ended up in what the people call, “The Palm of the Creator”.  Haha, what a trip!

Lillooet is a small, St’at’imc native community in Northeast British Columbia. After I graduated from McNally Smith College of Music this April, I was offered an Arts Contracting position for the Ucwalmicw non-profit. My good friend, Susannah Tedesco, is the coordinator for the Ucwalmicw Voice and Vision in Unity – 6 month Hip-Hop program.  It was like she picked me fresh out of the liberal, and artistic crop the Midwest has to offer. I knew in my heart this was an opportunity of a lifetime, and I seized it.

I’ve been here 10 days now, and I can FINALLY feel the ability to slow my mind down from the city life! I’ve been waiting for this place of quiet serenity, and I AM now so thankful. I have TIME! I don’t think you understand. I have time to do all the things I love; like gardening, reading, writing, singing, outdoor activities, did I mention tending to homegrown green? Lol

I already swam in the clearest glacier lake I’ve ever seen, and I haven’t even been horseback riding or hiking yet, (the bears are pretty hungry right now…One bear even stole someone’s Llama!) See and there I go again.

Then… I have to remind myself to slow down again

It’s not easy, but it’s one of the many things I’m learning to practice. The months ahead are going to be the grandest moments of my life!

This year’s resolution was simply: “Let go of fear. Live and love more.”

I truly believe since coming into 2013, something has changed in the collective conscious. We are becoming awakened. We are all going through major life transitions of challenge, growth, and love. I AM not alone.

I AM reading When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chodron, for the second time through now. The part of what I read today, I thought was especially beautiful, is as follows:

      “The essence of life is that it’s challenging. Sometimes it is sweet, and sometimes it is bitter. Sometimes your body tenses, and sometimes it relaxes or opens. Sometimes you have a headache, and sometimes you feel 100 percent healthy. From an awakened perspective, trying to tie up all the loose ends and finally get it together is death, because it involves rejecting a lot of your basic experience. There is something aggressive about that approach to life, trying to flatten out all the rough spots and imperfections into a nice smooth ride.

     To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.  To live fully is to be always in no-man’s-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again. From the awakened point of view, that’s life.  Death is wanting to hold on to what you have and to have every experience confirm you and congratulate you and make you feel completely together.  So even though we say the yama mara is fear of death, its actually fear of life.

     We want to be perfect, but we just keep seeing our imperfections, and there is no room to get away from that, no exit, nowhere to run.  That is when this sword turns into a flower.  We stick with what we see, we feel what we feel, and from that we begin to connect with our own wisdom mind.

 Without the maras, would the Buddha have awakened? Would he have attained enlightenment without them? Weren’t they his best friends, since they showed him who he was and what was true? All the maras point the way to being completely awake and alive by letting go, by letting ourselves die moment after moment, at the end of each out-breath. When we wake up, we can live fully without seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, without re-creating ourselves when we fall apart. We can let ourselves feel our emotions as hot or cold, vibrating or smooth, instead of using our emotions to keep ourselves ignorant and dumb. We can give up on being perfect and experience each moment to its fullest. Trying to run away is never the answer to being a fully human being. Running away from the immediacy of our experience is like preferring death to life.

     Looking at the arrows and swords, and how we react to them, we can always return to basic wisdom mind.  Rather than trying to get rid of something or buy into a dualistic sense of being attacked, we take the opportunity to see how we close down when we’re squeezed.  This is how we open our hearts.  It is how we awaken our intelligence and connect with fundamental Buddha nature. “   – Pg 92-94

I think the universe sends us signs along our paths as a form of guidance.  Living in a big city, and an entire life of institutionalized education has made me believe I had to know everything. I also confidently surrender my role as a perfectionist.

I AM consciously aware, and thus choose to participate in developing a strong foundation for a healthy community; all while continuing to challenge, grow, love, and learn.