As the days move forward after my first native sweat lodge ceremony this past Sunday, things are becoming more clear.
I came to Lillooet, BC with intent to spend my summer after graduation in the majestic mountains, inspiring youth, and healing as an individual. Coming into 2013, and the winter solstice, my paradigm has been completely altered. I realized I needed to learn to love myself again, before I could be in a healthy relationship with anyone else. In doing so, I went into my first sweat lodge in search of healing from things in my past that I’ve never worked through. I knew I’ve been holding onto my “story”, and my past experiences because they make up the very fabric of who I am. However, I never understood the simple principle – “We only know what we are taught”.
I wanted to start out my day right today, so I pulled a tarot card while drinking my coffee. This is what it read:
The Bone Collector:
“You are whole and have everything you need within.”
“When the Bone Collector appears, she is asking you to look closely at your circumstances to see if you’re fully present or reacting out of past conditioning and unconscious expectations.
Whenever we’re wounded, especially when we’re young, it’s as if something essential is stolen from us. We adapt, and accept a particular version of the truth that then sets us up to behave a certain way in the future when faced with a situation that reminds us of the original event. What we know about ourselves thus becomes influenced by a perception of limitation.
You may feel unworthy or without courage; you may see yourself as flawed or unlovable, or expect to be criticized. No matter what your question, the Bone Collector reminds you that the truth is that you are a powerful being with limitless possibilities. She has kept safe what was stolen from you in the wounding and is here for you as you reclaim it now. You have everything you believe you lack, and the Bone Collector is your inner resource. Act as if you have what you need and you’ll find you have it after all. Anything is possible. With awareness, the wounds of the past need not define you.”